I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
