I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize