I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
