A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
