i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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