i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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