Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
