Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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