I am puke
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
