I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
