Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
