Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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