Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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