elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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