i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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