It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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