WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
A bitchslap is in order.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
