I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
