I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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