Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
