We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
