I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Operation Purity has been aborted
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
