If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
