So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
