last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
