I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
