I can tuck mytits in my pants
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
