Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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