somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
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