I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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