no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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