You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
