Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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