he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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