Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
