i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
