I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
