I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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