That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
