The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
