Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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