I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
