What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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