and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
