Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Found the puke drawer
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
