I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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