just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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