you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
