Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
