I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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