I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
