Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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