Just cropdusted the office
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
