literally had 100 drinks last night.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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