my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
