you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
