i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Are we still banned from the library?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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