i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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