I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
