Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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