I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
