he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
