so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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